Jewelry
by insight-to-insanity
Summary: A very short one shot with the Kaiba brothers. Seto thinks he has the perfect solution to a problem. Mokuba doesn't quite see things that way.


Author note: I have been gone for over two years and this short little one shot is hardly a powerhouse return fic, however, the idea amused me, and I hope it amuses you too!

Disclaimer: Yu Gi Oh is not now, nor will it ever be, my property as my bid of two dollars, a bicentennial nickel, and green paper clip was rejected. Unfortunately it belongs to Kazuki Takahashi and various corporations so, please, do not sue me. I have college to pay for and the Student Accounts Office has people who break thumbs.

* * *

His brother was strange. Mokuba had known this for quite some time. Seto had no social skills to speak of, would disappear for days at a time after losing a duel, and had a distressing fondness for dragons. However, despite all that, Mokuba never saw it coming.

"Seto? Why are you looking at a jewelry magazine?"

Seto's eyes flickered up for only a moment from a page lavishly displaying several varieties of earrings. "I am planning on purchasing a pair."

"Really?" That peaked Mokuba's interest. "You have a girlfriend?" Maybe his brother wasn't so odd after all.

Except the older boy then wrinkled his nose. "Certainly not."

Mokuba sighed in disappointment. "Oh," he paused. "The earrings… they aren't… for you? Are they?"

"Of course not!" Seto snapped. "They're for you."

Mokuba blinked. "Ah… what?"

"I said I'm purchasing them for you."

Mokuba was shell shocked. How could his brother say something so strange so calmly! And he couldn't buy Mokuba earrings! Mokuba was a boy! And earrings were girly! And they would look strange! And people would tease him! And…and…and…!

"AND MY EARS AREN'T PIERCED!" Mokuba burst out, his face burning red. It was a weak argument; however, it was the most logical one, so by that probably the only one that could sway his brother.

Seto quirked an eyebrow up at his brother's unforeseen outburst, though otherwise appeared unfazed. "I have already considered that. I scheduled an appointment with the physician to pierce them for you on the second to last Tuesday of this month. I had considered taking you to a parlor, but those places can attract… undesirable people. Besides, it would probably be more hygienic."

"It's not the piercing I'm upset about!"

Seto frowned. "Is it the white gold?" he asked. "Don't worry. I'm not going to purchase white gold; I remember what that does to your skin. You become terribly blotchy." Seto stared at his little brother warily, as though he expected him to suddenly erupt into hives.

"That's not what I'm angry about! I don't want earrings, Seto! Earrings are for girls!"

Seto rolled his eyes. "Stop being so dramatic, Mokuba. Just give the ear tags a chance. It's not like they will be in the shape of flowers or hearts or some other feminine design."

"So? The other kids will make fun of m—wait. Ear _tags_?"

"Yes," Seto nodded, "ear tags. Like what scientists attach to wild animals before releasing them back into the wilderness."

Mokuba blinked.

"There's a tracking devise installed in them," Seto continued. "If I download the ear tags' signal to my computer and over lay that with intricate maps, I will be able to locate you at any given moment." He paused, "That's how they keep track of animal populations."

"You want to put a tracking devise on me?!"

Seto sighed. "It's for your own good. You seem to get kidnapped on a fairly regular basis."

"That isn't my fault!" Mokuba insisted. "Besides, how is this going to prevent me getting kidnapped in the first place?"

"It won't." Seto returned to analyzing the 'earrings' in the magazine. "I have given up all hope in trying to stop your incessant disappearances. Increased body guards and the latest security systems seem to do nothing. I figure this way I can at least get you back before something horrifying happens to you and you become permanently unhinged. Perhaps you will be able to stop attending therapy sessions as often as you presently are."

Mokuba was horrified. "I can't stop seeing Dr. Porpleski! We just finished working through the Pegasus abduction! We haven't gotten anywhere close to the Big Five incident, let alone the evil Honda kidnapping!"

"Yes, and with a tracking devise pierced to your body, we will be able to lessen the trauma attached to these types of situations."

"But I'd look like a girl!"

Seto waved his hand in disregard. "You are being ridiculous. We're getting them for you and that is final."

Mokuba watched in listless defeat as Seto resumed perusing the ear tag selection.

"So… ear tags?"

"Yes, ear tags."

"I'll look girly."

"Nonsense. Plenty of men wear earrings, Mokuba. There's no reason for you to feel embarrassed."

"There's plenty of reason to feel embarrassed about it! My friends will make fun of me! And you know it will be all over the papers! It's GIRLY!"

"It is not! No one will say anything about it! As I stated, plenty of men wea-"

"WHO?" Mokuba interrupted, frantically waving his arms above his head. "What men do you know of that wear earrings?!"

"Ryuji Otogi!" Seto snapped back quickly, eyes narrowed with frustration.

Then, slowly, as Seto's own verbalized example of an earring wearing male role model for his little brother seeped into his mind, his face shifted from frustration to light, nearly-there confusion, before deciding on indignant repugnance.

"Maybe…" Seto began awkwardly. "Maybe ear tags aren't the most suitable answer to this dilemma." Seto neatly closed the magazine with a grace that indicated he was quite distressed. He looked troublingly at Mokuba, as if seeing his little brother for the first time. Then, with the same, disturbing grace, Seto stood up and slowly walked to the door. Mokuba watched quietly, feeling only a slight niggling of guilt over his brother mentally incapacitating himself, and decided to schedule an extra appointment with Dr. Porpleski for that coming Thursday afternoon.

* * *

-The End-

* * *

Show of hands how many people suspect there already is a tracking device on Mokuba. Don't be shy. You know the only reason his hair is so long is to cover the antenna.

Anyway thank you for reading! Love you all, please review, and have a wonderful day!


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